1 year pics
Here are some of Isaiah’s 1 year pics! I’ve got more to edit then I’ll put more up!
Beauty from Ashes
I was reading back over some past blogs and I came across this song that I had posted a couple days after I had a miscarriage. You can read the whole post here.
And though I can’t understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You’ve brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last
There’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today
Someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
It made me think about how broken I was during that time. How sad and confused I was. During that time though, I clinged to the promise that God had plans for my life. I camped out in Psalm 37:7 says “Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him” and that’s what we did. We waited on the Lord.
Fast Forward to now. We have Isaiah. Our beautiful, healthy one year old. A part of me will always grieve for the baby that we lost, but I know that if we had that baby, we would not have Isaiah now. The thought of not having him makes my stomach turn.
All this to say, God did what he says he will do and He knows what is best for our lives. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” How true is that!!! God knew the plan for our lives. He knew what was best for us and he knew the joy we would find in Isaiah.
The above song gave me so much comfort during that time. I would listen to it over and over and sing it to myself when I got emotional and sad. however, I don’t think I fully understood the truth to it until now. “Though it won’t be today, someday I’ll hope agaian and there’ll be beauty from pain, You will bring beauty from my pain. Isaiah is that beauty.
Happy Birthday
Today is Bobby’s 32nd birthday! I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!! I hope you have a great day today and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you all weeke
nd!!! I love you!!!
Oh how He loves us
If you listen to any kind of Christian music, you have probably heard the song “how he loves us” by David Crowder. If you are in the Knoxville area they play this song all the time on 89.1. Although way over played, this song has really made me think lately. Sure we all know God loves us, but i think that sometimes it is so hard for us to comprehend. At least I know I struggle with taking in the vast depth of His love. I think I struggle with it because it’s so great and unconditional that it is way beyond me. I remember when Isaiah was born. Bobby and I had made one of our daily trips to Childrens hospital to sit and be with him. I remember sitting there just starring at him (not much else you can do when they won’t let you hold him yet). I remember being filled with emotion when I thought about how completely I already loved him. It’s such a strange feeling. I mean here is this person who I don’t know, who has never done anything for me, who has not expressed any feelings for me but yet I was so completely in love. I was scared for him, sad for him for what he was going through, I Hurt for him when he cried or looked unsettled, and just so overjoyed to have him with me. A mother’s or even a parent’s love is so completely different than any other relationship. I think about falling in love with Bobby. Although I love him more than words now, I didn’t just fall in love with him at first sight. In a sense , Bobby had to earn my love and me his. He had to show me who he was, what he was about. I had to get to know him. But not with Isaiah….it didn’t matter , no matter what he was like, what he looked like or what he becomes…. I loved him instantly and more intensely then any other love I have known.
I think that is a small glimpse into the way God loves us. We don’t have to prove ourselves to Him. He knows who we are. He knows our screw ups and yet He still loves us. I don’t even have to earn it….he loves me even when I don’t do what’s right and when I ignore Him. He loves me because I am His.
Maybe this is a concept that you have grasped a long time ago. I have always known it to be true, but since becoming a mommy I think I am finally get to where I can understand it a little more and for that I am grateful!
Just thought I would share!
